He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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