the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
