I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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