I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
