Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
