You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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