Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
