I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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