I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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