He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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