You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
