feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
