At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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