He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
sex in a hospital.. check
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
