I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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