FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
how drunk are you?
Several
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
