ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
