party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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