is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
