mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
