you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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