You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
