There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
