Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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