I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
His nipple licking is glorious
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