Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
