did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
