I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
should my penis look like a turkey
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i now understand why vodka
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
