Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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