I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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