Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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