So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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