it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
