i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
