just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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