redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
