Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
