susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
