i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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