More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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