Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
