slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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