bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
