I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
