I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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