i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
