wakey wakey hands off snakey
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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