she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
