Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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