matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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