What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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