My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
