Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
