quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
