Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You are a booty call, not a friend.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
