sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
